nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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