We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
