Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
