yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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