You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
