He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize