If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
wow bdsm is so cute
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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