he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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