hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
