I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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