I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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