She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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