Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Randomize
