I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize