I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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