chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
