Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
zippers are such a cool invention
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
