i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
