I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
