so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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