Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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