ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
