I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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