Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
