There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
