sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
