no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
