I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
