i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
