I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
