Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
