that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
