They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize