i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
