I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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