He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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