the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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