Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
