i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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