Porn is love you can see.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
