the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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