I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
