It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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