I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
