I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
