Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
