thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize