Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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