everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
