Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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