I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
