do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
