Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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