yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
