Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
