She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
