i can't believe i had my finger in that
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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