worst night to have a conscience
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So vagazzling was a success
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
