Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
