grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
