i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
