And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
