So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
