i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
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